you

i miss you so much, i don't know what i'm doing, really .

eyes

I GET ABOUT 6 HOURS OF SLEEP EVERDAY, PLUS 14 HOURS OF CONTACT LENS USAGE ><
MY EYES ARE WORN OUT T.T
they are so dull, and dead >< sobsobsob

i hate my math class teacher, i think he picks on me-.-"
he always notice wuh im duin, and just called out my last nameee LOUDLY and tell me to pay attention-.-"
yeah guess wuh, i get the whole class attention cuz of him . GEEZ .

aiiiiii

I haven't posted anything in awhile, that's all because of school !
School is so tiring, I'm either late, or just get into trouble pft . But at some point, school is fun too :)
At least I got all those nice friends like Carmen and Calvin, ahhahaa
Guess I would be bothering them for the whole school year LOL

Get back into topic, I heard my mom on a phone call today in the morning . Looks like someone is making her a bank again . I really am not in the position to say anything, but I can't stand seeing her just doing these things nonchalantly ><
I wish she's a little better in saying NO . Boo ><

Not going to church in a while really makes difference . Aiiii, old habit got back up again . I hate this .

Other than these, everything seemed fine for me .
Oh one more thing, I think I'm not going to talk to M anymore . 'cause I think I'm just giving troubles to him, pft ><

BLUE BEAR !

Today I got a blue bear from TERRIIERR KONGGG ;D <3333
OMGG THE BEAR IS HUGE ANDD ADORABLEEEEEE <3333
sosoosooocutee !! :D
&&of course, that totally lift up my dull mood lately :) ~
geez, these days, my skin got so bad .... i wished mom will filter the water like IMMEDIATELY .

SCHOOL&& OLD DIARY LOL

First day of school :)
It was okay overall hahahh
Today, looking into my stuffs, I found a green book with patterns all over .
I looked into it, they are all my diary entries when I first come to the states . It's amazing how my English got so much better and improved that MUCH !!

Geez, my innocence were truly amazing . How much have I changed over the years ? All those entries were truthful, sincere blessings I give to each and every person . Vanity wasn't even put into account, which is different today ! LOL

Truth is, I can never return to the past, I'm just hoping after reading all those entries, maybe just maybe I would clear up my mind and think over again about what life really means .

facebook .

i told kenny to change my facebook password ><
guess yhu can say, i no longer use facebook . cuz i dunwan to know wuhs going on there and get involve wih dramas . the more things i see in there, the more i think of how life is so disappointing .

i wan to live, not just surviving . i wan to experience a lot of stuffs ><
i wonder, when will it be my turn ?

i realize, im gettin more and more like a typical gal . im no longer the old stubborn gal who doesnt give up SIGH
&&i alwiz ask myself, is this the life tat i reali wanted ?

if this keeps up

I WILL GO CRAZY IF THIS KEEPS UP .
WUH hAPPEN TO ME . WHEN DID U BCUM SO IMPORTANT TO ME, I HATE MYSELF HATEHATEHATE
FORGET ABOUT IT, FORGET ABOUT EVRYTHING ><
geez i hate this, wish i never met yhu . leave me alone ><

NOT so perfect day .

RESPONSIBILITY

it was supposed to go well, wait wait wait and wait for more in school .
yhu know, i tried so hard -.-"
i try not to talk back, try to listen and do what i'm supposed to do. but this fucken retarded SON OF A BITCH aka my stepfather, just pisses me off .

BEGINNING OF THE END

i swear i've stopped cursing, until today . he's so ridiculous, alrite im learning dancing . he says my legs' veins are like popping ? he told me to stop my class . i got over it and just laugh it off .


STUPID PERSON IN LIFE

hes so ridiculous, is like evrything i do. he just gotta have bad comment about it .
the way i write, hold pen, the way i look, EVRYTHING . i feel like choking him sometimes-.-" he doesn't even know that hes offending people. for jesus sake, does he know how many ppl out thr he offended ?!

talking about other details, today is just like regular day minus i snapped and scream back yelling and screaming at like 10pm at nite .

SUE&&THUM

i'll pray for sue and thum tonite ><
well, honestly, my dear cuzin has mental issues . but still, i know she could be healed if she doesn't get so much stress... and i'm hoping that thum will be the one who helps her out of it ?

LOVE


get back to my own life, j talk to me today . i havent been talking to him for some day since he got back to mas from aus . aiiiii, idkkk ><
i probably will reli fall for him, IF i live in mas . buh i oni could think of one possible person to actuali like, or perhaps love . still the same old him ><


HIM

&&yet, i don't understand . hes not especially good or anything, and he treats me like crap .
aiiiiii, i alwiz torture myself in this matter . guess i nid more classes to get my mind into more things ? ><


CONCLUSION

KEEPING MYSELF BUSYBUSY BUSYY EHH EHH EHHH ~~

yesterday&&today ~

IFINALLYGOTINTODANCECLASS

im currently learning hiphop and club step >:]
well, the lessons are too fast, i can't really follow, but im trying my best and i know i really like it ><"
im hoping that this is ONE thing i can really complete mastering in my life ><
geez, how many things have i tried and failed ? i cant even keep them counting using my fingers ... (sorta loser-ish in this part)

and wuhs more, registration into francis lewis hs is FINALLY completed !

so, life's treating me alrite :) ~ and im hapi kekeke :D

thankgod>< ~